How to Read Your Child’s Mind

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It is not very easy to read your child’s mind unless you are prepared to do that. As a matter of fact reading child’s mind is a topic that has to be paid a lot of attention by all the parents. As a proud parent you would do well to study your child’s mind on a day to day basis. Look how the child behaves when he is given books to browse or when he is given toys to play. Understand what he likes the most. Give him what he likes the most. Make him play well if he shows enormous interest in sports and games. At the same time ensure that he pays sufficient attention to his studies as well.

Reading your child’s mind is important especially when it comes to developing his eating habits. Not all children like the same kinds of food. Certain children like dates whereas certain children do not like them. Certain children eat biscuits more whereas certain children eat cakes more. See what you child eats with a lot of interest. If your child does not like to eat rice-made food items then don’t force him to eat them. Instead give him the food items that he likes the most. If your child prefers fruits to vegetables give him different kinds of fruits. At the same time make sure that your child eats vegetables that are rich in nutrients. This can be done by telling him the importance of eating such nutrient-laden foods such as vegetables and leafy food items.

Make sure that your child is not struck with remorse. Sometimes you may notice your child sitting quietly at a corner of your home struck with remorse. Go to your child and ascertain the reason for his sadness. He would surely cite some reason or the other for his sadness. Sit with your kid and discuss with him the possibilities of removing his dullness. Take him out for a walk or spend some time with him in your garden or on the terrace. If your find your child struck with anger for some reason or the other then take him to the nearby sports shop and buy for him toys or make him play a video game of his choice. This will calm his mind for the better. These are the different ways by which you can evaluate the mind of your child and study it with care.

How to Keep Your Kid Happy

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It is not very easy to keep your kid happy at all times. Kids tend to ask for various things in different times of the day. Most children need different toys to play with and they need these toys quite regularly. As a parent you would find it hard to keep them happy by buying expensive toys on a regular basis. Kids can become unhappy at the drop of the hat. At the same time you would do well to study the mind of your kid. The mind of children is very delicate in the sense that it gets satisfied at the slightest advantage. For example if your kid demands an expensive toy from you, then try to convince him by gifting a toy that interests him the most and that is inexpensive too. This way you can save a lot of money on toys and at the same time impress upon your kid as well.

It is indeed a great challenge for the parent to keep his kid happy throughout the day. Some children can be kept happy by the narration of small stories. Make sure that you spend at least some time in the day with your kid by telling stories and small incidents that happened in your life. Make sure that you play for some time with your kid. This has to be done in a bid to keep your kid happy and contented. Most kids like their parents to play with them at least for some part of the day. At the same time the parent may not be ready to spend some time with his kid. This may be due to several reasons such as pressures at the work place, tiredness, household work and the like. The kid cannot be in a position to understand all this. All he wants is that his father or mother should play with him for some time in the day. As a proud parent try to fulfill the small desires of your kid by playing with him at least for about half an hour during the night before lulling him to sleep.

Make sure that your kid is kept happy especially when he is leaving for his school in the day. This is the most important period of the day since children often leave to school with a melancholic mind. Try to make them happy by telling some incidents or by showing some headlines from the day’s newspaper.

How to Manage the Anger in Your Children

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Anger in your children has to be managed quite carefully in order to shape your child to nicety. It is important that children are kept contented and happy for the most part of the day. Although it is extremely difficult to appease them all through the day, you have to make sure that they are not struck with remorse and melancholy. This is due to the fact that children can be affected by mental problems if they are allowed to remain aloof and in solitude. Hence as a responsible parent it is your duty to see to it that they are happy and spirited for the greater part of the day.

At times you may find your kid struck with anger under different circumstances. He might have picked a fight with his classmate or with the street friend on some trivial issue and return home with anger writ all over his face. As a proud parent it is up to you to treat his anger with a lot of responsibility. Do not allow your child to develop his anger. Instead try to appease him and control his anger by telling some stories or showing something wonderful around him. He would forget his anger for the moment and begin to play with the same boy that has angered him a few minutes ago! This is the beauty of the psychology of children. They forget and forgive any mistake done to them. They immediately shake hands with their friends with whom they picked fight sometime ago.

Do your best to manage the anger in your child. Tell your child the various disadvantages of anger. This can be done by narrating some stories from mythology or fables. Children readily understand the adversities of anger if they are convinced to believe that anger is dangerous. Make them understand the ill effects of anger on the behavior of people. Teach them the methods to overcome anger. They would listen to your advice with a calm mind. On the other hand if you do not attempt to lessen their anger then it can have a bad effect on their mind. There are many children that develop serious mental problems by virtue of developing anger time and again. Managing the anger of children is really a challenging effort on the part of the parents. Every parent should strive hard to look into the general behavior of their children with great care and attention.

What Every Parent Should Know about TV Addiction Part I

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Television is the most successful invention of the century. It has also had more influence than any other single invention.

 In Germany, 64 percent of all children watch TV for so long that it is their main spare-time activity; 42 percent of 13-yearolds have their own set and watch an average of two-and-a-half hours a day.

 A survey in the United States underlines just how much influence television exerts on daily life: every third American child is more prepared to go without a father than without the box. And in Germany, the number of cases of what psychologists call “TV addiction” is rising.

 This addiction is an illness. A former head of the audio-visual research center at Hildesheim’s University, recommends a thorough course of treatment.

 In New York, two institutes have specialized in the topic: young people learn, in a program called Anti-TV International, to live without television. Behavioral difficulties resulting from intensive viewing can be rid of.

 Patients at the clinics come mainly from the 20 percent of big-city families and 10 percent of other families are not able to regulate their own viewing and the children, through long hours of passiveness in front of the set inevitably turn into “vidioton.”

 An institute in Stuttgart which specializes in problems of raising children has found that one of the reasons for both physical and psychological disturbances through excessive television is that children become unable to distinguish real life from what they see on the screen: They transfer what they see in the unreal world into the real world.

 One German television channel now says that its regular program dealing with unsolved criminal cases (shown in the hope that members of the public will be able to provide information) is watched by one-and-a-half million children between the ages of eight and 13. Another 150,000 aged between three and seven watched.

 What these statistics do not say is why they watch adult program despite the availability of children’s programs. One expert lists five main reasons.

 1. Children like doing what adults do. They are naturally inclined to emulate adult behavior.

2. Most children feel they gain social prestige from having watched “a terrific program.” What they have viewed is often paraded in the schoolroom and in groups.

3. Children are more skeptical about programs for them than adults realize. They accuse such programs of often having cleverly disguised educational functions.

4. Children left alone at home at nights watch television. An analysis has revealed that more than half the parents do not know what programs are watched. TV remains Germany’s most popular baby-sitter.

5. Parent’s behavior. More parents than is commonly thought give their children enormous freedom to watch what they want. A University of Constance survey discovered that children with this excessive freedom tended to watch programs that were not pedagogically sensible – as opposed to children from homes where the parents were more discerning.

What Every Parent Should Know about TV Addiction Part II

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Another consideration: a five-year-old child who shows signs for the first time of being able to follow a program can already be classed as a television consumer.

 Even two-month-old babies can take an interest in some programs: they are interested in everything that moves. And it doesn’t take a baby long to discover that something is moving in that box.

 Many mothers say that their babies seek protection when something strange appears on the screen. One psychologist has discovered that there is an especially sharp rise in the fear of the strange between the eighth and 14th months of life so that, during this time, television has for them a sinister effect. In this way, neuroses can originate.

 Another expert warned strongly against allowing children in their playpens to get near the TV set. This would result in the baby being forced to absorb certain picture details which could startle it and even shock.

 But the invention of television has, like all things, another side to it. For a child, it is a window to the world. Whoever leaves windows open all day creates draughts, with the result that people catch colds and get ailments like rheumatics.

 But leaving the window closed all day hinders healthy development.

 One expert says older children should occasionally watch cops-and-robbers programs in order to develop and broaden their critical faculties. But there should be a familiar person such as a parent or elder brother or sister by the child to defuse any fearful moments.

 However, the problem does not only apply to children. It is not challenged that adults are affected. American scientists investigated 900 representative views in a three-year study. The result: intensive television over the years reduced the capacity to think. The researchers found that fears of one’s own opinion grew out of all proportion because the medium came to be regarded as an authority.. They described “dependence on television” as worse than the subjugation of a totalitarian group or party.

 There is an especially strong influence wielded by violence on the box. The Hildesheim Center spent years using hidden cameras to observe routine acts of aggression in play groups, kindergartens and school classes. The conclusion: aggression is acquired through imitating or perhaps through success.

 There are no patent recipes for optimal treatment of television. One psychologist appeals for reasonable openness. He says it remains questionable whether those researchers who predict that audiovisual manipulation of people, especially children, in the long term would cause more devastation than the nuclear bomb would be proved correct.

 Because people cannot survive without information supplied by television, the medium ought not to be shoved to the periphery of the thought on the subject by parents and educational experts. It should be at the center, he said.

Effects of Changing Gender Roles on Children

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Nowadays, in the age of feminism and “female liberation,” roles for men and women have markedly deviated from the traditional breadwinner and housewife typecast.

 Of course, it goes without saying that some large multi-national companies today, where the bosses are non-males.

 A great deal of debate and social agitation accompanied these changes. One of the major arguments was that such changes would confuse children and cause gender identity and other problems, including homosexuality. Of course, on the other side of the issue was the assertion for fairness and equality for women.

 Social scientists have observed these changes and constantly ask, “Have the changes had a harmful effect on the children?”

 Advocates of both sides find evidence to support their respective positions. Truth is, we do not know for sure whether changing gender roles have affected preadolescent and early-adolescent children, or those of age, in a significant way.

 A child-psychiatrist has observed that girls with working mothers are more cautious and thoughtful about the initiation and management of sexual activities because pregnancy can limit or exclude them from the opportunities their mothers are taking advantage of.

 While the question of the effect of changing gender roles cannot be answered fully, it is safe to say that the dire and extreme predictions—complete blurring of roles, loss of masculinity, femininity, increased homosexuality—have not come true. In fact, some who felt that girls were being socialized into demeaning and limiting roles, in part by toys and play, tried to change this. To their dismay, girls actually preferred “girl things” at every age and boy preferred “boy things” at every age.

 Child’s play is probably not the issue of importance here. More important is the attitude and behavior of adults and peers regarding their own present roles and future possibilities. This is particularly true for the preadolescent and early adolescent because it is in this period that once quite fluid ideas begin to gel a bit. Parents who manage their outside-the-family activities well and provide adequate nurturance and guidance within the home, and who are satisfied in both areas, probably provides the best role models regardless of whether they are involved in traditional or mixed gender roles.

 Finally, a major reason that there is probably little gender identity confusion is that preadolescents and early adolescents look to peers for clues about masculinity and femininity as much as they do to parents—though parental expectations and behaviors provide limits on extreme and anti-social behavior.

 The ultimate task for parents, teachers, schools, and society is to help families who opt for new roles to appreciate the importance of making it possible for both men and women to find satisfaction in them. This entails the early and more mature appreciation of future responsibilities which are to be imbued in the children.

6 Parenting Tips when Arguing in Front of Children

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Family squabbles are inevitable, but there are guidelines parents should follow when they argue in front of their children, says a leading marriage counselor.

A New York City psychologist says parental fights are beneficial to a child’s growth, “to know that one can be emotionally hurt, but more importantly, that love and harmony can be restored.”

He adds: “Facing realities which include mild conflicts and misunderstandings can prepare children for stresses that will come their way in later life.”

The following are guidelines as advice for parents when it comes to arguments. Here are 6 parenting tips when arguing in front of children:

• Don’t use your children to communicate your resentment or hurt to each other. For example, the angry wife may have her daughter respond to her husband’s question with “tell your father I’m not talking to him.”

Children should not be brought into parental arguments. It only creates confusion and tension.

• It is more important to be emotionally honest than to give the appearance of harmony. Children are unusually sensitive to vibrations between parents.

The denial of feelings makes for uncertainty and distrust. It is better to be open and allow children to learn that arguments do happen but that they don’t have to be catastrophic.

• Children may blame themselves for parental quarrels. They can jump to erroneous conclusions or use farfetched reasoning to attribute their parents’ distress to something they did or didn’t do.

It is important for it to be made clear that parent quarrels are not the child’s fault.

• If your quarrels are separated by periods of brooding silence, your home is more likely to feel like an armed camp rather than a family. This can lead children to think that your fights will never be peacefully resolved.

Children need to know all is well again between their parents. It is important to clear the air and allow peace and affection back in again.

• Extreme reactions during and after an argument can confuse and upset children. Misplacing your angry feelings towards your spouse onto your children can make them distrustful and fearful.

• Don’t ask children to take your side. This only sets up damaging emotional conflicts. Including children involved in your arguments is a no-win proposition.

 

6 Elements to Strengthen Family Ties – Part I

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These days, keeping a close-knit family requires more effort, imagination and determination. The outside world encroaches upon family life, depriving us of more time for one another.

While we’re supposed to build bridges and reach out to everyone, it would hurt no one if we would first help ourselves in building protective walls that would give our own family its identity and strength. You can do it and it requires no cutting of ties with kith and kin.

Here are 6 ways to foster family ties:

1. QUALITY FAMILY TIME

Find quality time every day. Dinner time is one. But first, make sure all home entertainment media are turned off so dinner becomes one pleasurable experience itself that sets the mood for conversation later on.

Unless an important call is expected, you can mute the telephone ringer for an hour or so. That goes with pagers and cellular phones too. For at least 45 minutes, you can catch up on each other’s activities for the day.

Declare a family day every week and make sure everybody blocks it off on his/ her calendar. It may help if you declare it maid’s holiday as well. On this particular day, try to do everything together rather than divide up the chores. Pulling the grasses in the lawn, taking turns in sweeping the leaves, grilling some meat in the barbecue, doing the dishes. Trying a new recipe, leave the peeling and cutting of vegetables to the kids as you ready the stew.

2. GOING PLACES

Go places to dine, take in the scenery and relax.

One young architect I know would drive his family around the metropolis and nearby areas on Sundays after hearing Mass. Two Sundays back, they went up to countryside. Last Sunday, he drove them up to mountain resort. This week, they’re set for Hawaii. Next time, they would be in Grand Canyon as first stop.

He says that while admiring nature’s blessings, his kids get a lesson or two in environmental protection and preservation as well.

You need not go that far though. Regular trips to a pizza parlor would be just as heavenly if you spice it up with variety.

For four Sundays this month, try pizza A. Pizza B would be under review next month. Pizza C may be a little out of league considering its Lilliputian leaning but check it out nevertheless for you may discover some huge discrepancy in taste, compared with the rest, and budget.

6 Elements to Strengthen Family Ties – Part II

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3. ALL IN THE FAMILY’S BEST INTERESTS

Pursuing or developing common interests can be a strong bond.

Music, for example, is not only a universal language but also it can be your language of love to one another.

A mother, who learned to play the piano under the tutelage of her mama, now spends an hour a day tuning it with her daughter and trying a piece that tells of blue moons many years ago, jazzing it up for a ’90s version.

A musically-inclined clan I know is probably one of the most peace-loving in town. Members have hardly figured in any trouble and swearing is avoided like the plague. Instead, harmony seems ingrained in each of them. Where kids are concerned, investments are not made on computer games set but on musical instruments that live a lot longer and which formed the base of a musical band, composed of clan members, that played local bar circuits for some time.

4. A CALENDAR OF CELEBRATIONS

Birthdays, anniversaries and marriages are typical causes for celebrations. Go beyond the conventions and invent your own.

Your son is making it to the state university. Your daughter is passing the board exam. Little junior is getting nominated for a mall’s search for best-looking kids. Dad’s competent hosting of a sales convention, his first. The completion of a ten-day language lesson in time for a kin’s visit with her Japanese husband. The list is endless.

5. RITES FOR POSTERITY

Sibling relationships are usually strengthened by rituals initiated by parents and grandparents.

In Iowa, I know of New York-based brothers and sisters who would come around August to pick lemon from their vast plantations, bringing their own brood, immortalizing an annual rite that was started by their own parents, that hardworking couple whose love of agriculture left them with hectares of irrigated land and countless cattle as well.

By dusk, after a day’s share in the picking and sorting, everybody would repair to a big farmhouse canopied by decades-old acacia trees and after dinner would reminisce their parents’ eccentricities amid guffaws and chuckles. Everyone would always look forward to that August of their lives.

6. ALL-SEASON STORIES

Celebrations and story-telling usually go together. The more we recount past experiences, the more we feel the affinity of our souls, the intertwining of our lives.

The storyteller is oftentimes tireless; his tales, timeless.

“Remember the time we were negotiating a steep mountain road while an unexpected storm raged and rocks fell just a few seconds past our ride? How we prayed hard for Him to allow us to at least get to the town proper!”

“Or that night a few years back when, coming from a wedding in Los Angeles, we got caught up in incredible traffic that paralyzed the city until the wee hours of the morning and which forced us to inch our way back to a nearby resort hotel for an early morning rest?”

“Or that time we were in Canada and dared to take a bath at 5 a.m. one early January morning and, chickening out, how we dashed back to the bedroom for sweatshirts, bed covers and all?”

Those moments may seem petty at times but they lodge iii the recesses of our hearts where they live forever and where no outside forces can break into.

5 Essential Elements to Make a Good Father Part III

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Praise the wife for the little things she does. The moment we exchanged “I do’s,” we made a commitment to support each other for life. Marriage unites us and makes us one with each other; therefore, it is important for us to be transparent towards our wife. The real machos in the world are men who are dedicated husbands and concerned fathers.

We can become successful in any chosen field but, if we lose the love of our family, we are a total failure. There are certain ways and methods that should be changed in our lives, so as to ensure a wonderful relationship with all the members of our family.

Being a father is the best profession of all, but we’ve got to do our job in the best possible way. I would like to share with you some characteristics of what makes a good father:

1. Be a Good provider – He supplies not only the finances, but he sees to it that the atmosphere of love reigns in his household. He gives security to his family by giving sound advice to any member of his family. A father is one who can give physical and spiritual care to his family.

2. Be Brave -When there is a crisis in the family he does not panic. He is stable and he looks for adequate solutions to the problem.

3. Be Tender – A soft-hearted father is always approachable. He listens to his wife and family regarding family matters. He feels the inner need of the family member and is able to lend a helping hand always.

4. Be Mature – Lives according to good principles. He is truthful and faithful and never cheats any member of his family. He will never compromise family security for useless things.

5. Be Competent – Makes sure that his duties as a father are fully accomplished. He sees to it that all needs of his household are met. He is a skillful manager and knows his priorities.

We don’t need to be intelligent to absorb all these. As father and husband, we have roles to portray and to make the best out of it. We’ve got to work hand in hand with our wife in order to make the system work. In our hand lies the future of our children. Whatever we show our children today will reflect in their lives tomorrow. Be careful in your words and actions, they can make or break your child.

I believe WE CAN DO IT.

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